my cat licked my forehead and then tapped it with her paw i think i just got baptised
is he catholic
sex in the shower? no. slip and bust my ass. break my dick. she slippin too. she knock her head on the tile she passed out. bleedin. i cant walk cause my jimmy snapped. thought this was gonna be sexy and we both end up half dead.
Now that I’m an adult I have to make more serious posts
reblog if you miss someone or are illicitly running a pelican breeding ring out of your aunt’s garage
my package still hasn’t came i give up
did you try switching hands
Me: mom, can I have 5 dollars?
Mom: how do you plan to earn it?